Eurozone (no it’s your ozone)

Britain should leave Europe, Scotland should leave the United Kingdom and Heidi and Spencer should leave the Big Brother house.

Get out, everyone, just leave.

I for one won’t be happy until we have left everything and we all live alone in little individual pods of personal space. I’ll even take leave of my senses and seek asylum in my own mind. It’ll be brilliant, until I need a cup of tea.

There will be no contentment until there is nothing left to leave and everything is split into the tiniest pieces. You started it in primary school when you drew a line down the middle of the desk. We are still dividing things up. And we’ll keep on dividing and dividing until we’re dividing out of control like a terminal territorial cancer.

David Cameron wants to leave the Eurozone. The truth is, he can’t even leave the house because the Met Office have issued a weather warning for snow.